People are very strange these days. Case in point: There’s a new entry in the annals of our new national pastime—trolling oblivious advice columnists with scenarios pulled from pop culture—joining such highlights as “Dear Prudence Earnestly Addresses Aimee Mann From The ‘Voices Carry’ Video”; “Winnipeg, Canada’s Miss Lonelyhearts Earnestly Addresses Skyler White”; and, welp, the time this exact The Room-themed letter was used to troll the Huffington Post’s Eva Papp. That last one has now made it past another advice columnist, garnering a bit more attention this time around.

Amy Dickinson, author of the nationally syndicated “Ask Amy” advice column, ran a letter spelling out a situation very familiar to fans of Tommy Wiseau’s bafflingly, cosmically inept cult classic The Room:

Dear Amy: I have a serious problem with my future wife. She has not been faithful to me.

I recently overheard her talking to her friend about how she was unfaithful to me. When I confronted her, all that she said was that she couldn’t talk right now. I feel like I have to record everything in my own house just to learn the truth.

To make things even more stressful is the fact that she recently told a couple of people that I hit her, but it’s not true. I did not hit her. I’m not sure why she has been acting like this lately. She did just find out that her mother has breast cancer, and that might be playing a role in her behavior.

We still always find time to make love, so I don’t know why she would go out seeking it from someone else. I just can’t believe she would do this to me. I love her so much, she is my everything, and I don’t know that I could go on without her. She is tearing me apart.

What should I do? — Devastated

What a story! Not one to keep her comments, stupid or otherwise, in her pocket, Dickinson took at face value the letter writer we all know to be Johnny, protagonist of The Room. Clearly recognizing just how fed up with this world the writer is, Dickinson advises him to get out of his toxic relationship and to seek the support of “close friends, family, and a professional counselor.” Maybe he has a friend who always plays psychologist with him?

Advertisement