Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Someone shared a handy taxonomy of Reply Guys, which, of course, attracted many Reply Guys

Illustration for article titled Someone shared a handy taxonomy of Reply Guys, which, of course, attracted many Reply Guys
Photo: Westend61 (Getty Images)

Twitter briefly silenced everyone with a blue checkmark next to their name last night, an act everyone seems to agree was a step in the right direction. Next step? Do the same with Reply Guys. All of them. Reply Guys, if you’re unfamiliar, are angry, smug, and/or thirsty men who make a concerted habit of showing up in women’s mentions under a variety of guises. It’s easy to paint them all with the same brush, but a detailed examination is long overdue, if only to know the best means to combat each one.

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Well, we’re in luck. Yesterday, brave comedian and writer Suzanna Kempner tweeted out an informative, very funny thread handily breaking down all the various subcategories of Reply Guys.

Have a look below:

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There are quite a few other versions detailed by Kempner in her thread, including but unfortunately not limited to the “ASKS YOU ON A DATE” Reply Guy, the “MOTIVATIONAL LIFE COACH” Reply Guy, and your garden-variety “DISGUSTING” Reply Guy.

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Like any solid taxonomy, Kempner’s organizational methods were clear, concise, and, perhaps most importantly, easily proven through evidence found almost immediately out in the field.

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It’s pretty easy to not be one of the many varieties of Reply Guys, but like everything it touches, Twitter has pretty much poisoned most forms of communication on the app. Perhaps all this can be easily summarized by a response to one particular Reply Guy’s comment:

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Better yet, maybe we should all just log off and throw our phones into the ocean.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

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Andrew Paul is a contributing writer with work recently featured by NBC Think, GQ, Slate, Rolling Stone, and McSweeney's Internet Tendency. He writes the newsletter, (((Echo Chamber))).

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