Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Somebody paid Sugar Ray's Mark McGrath to break up with their boyfriend via Cameo

Photo: Paul Natkin (Getty Images)

Cameo is an app where everyday folks can pay celebrities to send personalized messages to whomever they please. That means you can give $65 bucks to TV personality Carson Kressley and he’ll wish you a happy birthday, or $135 to Ernie Hudson in the hopes that he’ll celebrate your anniversary in character as Ghostbusters’ Winston Zeddemore. Hell, for $50 To Catch A Predator’s Chris Hansen will insinuate that you’re a pedophile. See, Cameo is weird, because these people will do almost anything. The Blocked Party podcast, for example, got Pauly Shore to record an anti-circumcision PSA. Last December, some racists tricked Brett Favre and Andy Dick into casually delivering coded anti-semitism. Cameo is chaos.

More proof? Somebody named Cheyenne hired Sugar Ray’s Mark McGrath to break up with their boyfriend and McGrath was game for it. Twitter user @slasherdaysaint shared the below clip, in which McGrath informs “Brayden” that Cheyenne is “having difficulty staying in this long-distance relationship” and “wants to be friends right now, bro.”

Advertisement

Not only does McGrath gracefully tiptoe what’s got to be a tricky tonal balance, he offers up some of his own wisdom and positivity. “It’s tough,” he continues. “I’ve been on the road for years and I’ve been with my wife for a long time. The biggest arguments, the biggest obstacles in our relationship is the distance between us.”

It’s easy to imagine this is some kind of prank, and it very well could be, but there’s so many indelible details, from Cheyenne wishing Brayden good luck on his upcoming thesis to the reveal that she hired McGrath because Sugar Ray is one of Brayden’s favorite bands. “I wish I was delivering you good news,” McGrath earnestly tells him. “Hopefully I can see you backstage, give you a high-five someday.”

But McGrath’s positivity is downright inspiring. “You never know what the future may hold!” he declares with gusto. Later, he gently chides Cheyenne for dumping Brayden with a thesis on the horizon. “Probably not the best timing, Cheyenne.” As a balm for the brokenhearted, he concludes, “If you’re working on a thesis, you’ve got a good life ahead of you.”

Advertisement

That, of course, isn’t quite a guarantee, but it’s better than McGrath reminding Brayden that all the things he used to say, all the words that got in the way, all the things that he used to know have gone out the window.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

Advertisement

Share This Story

About the author

Randall Colburn

Randall Colburn is The A.V. Club's Internet Culture Editor. He lives in Chicago, occasionally writes plays, and was a talking head in Best Worst Movie, the documentary about Troll 2.