Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

So, hey: A Mighty Ducks actor turned Epstein-associating crypto billionaire wants to be president

Illustration for article titled So, hey: A iMighty Ducks/i actor turned Epstein-associating crypto billionaire wants to be president
Screenshot: Liz Ruggi

Okay. Alright. So... First thing: Brock Pierce played the young Emilio Estevez in The Mighty Ducks and D2: The Mighty Ducks. He was also the “first kid” in 1996 Sinbad comedy First Kid. A lot else has happened in Pierce’s life since then. In fact, so much has happened that it may be easiest to just link the social media share of a recent New York Post article so you can get a pretty good indication for yourself before we go any further.

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Yes, Pierce, who is currently running for president, is caught up in a scandal regarding monstrous pedophile Jeffrey Epstein. This means that, while already trying to wrap our heads around the ongoing horrorshow of 2020, we’ve also now encountered news stories that continue sentences like the following, from the Post’s article. “The Mighty Ducks actor, who grew up to become a cryptocurrency billionaire—and is running as an independent candidate in the 2020 election—was contrite about speaking at a 2011 conference in the Virgin Islands supported by Epstein.”

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The article itself references an interview Pierce gave to The Daily Mail (we’re deep in tabloid turf here) where he addressed his ties to Epstein, claiming not to know an event he appeared at was sponsored by him. The former child star was invited to that event because, not content just to play a president’s son and the young version of the Flying V’s inventor, he’s also been involved in a ton of absurd and murky business ventures over the years that have made him a lot of money.

Pierce, if we have this right, is currently a cryptocurrency billionaire, but, before that, he was a partner at an early web video company that made a lot of money before failing because of, god damn it all, a child sex abuse accusation. Because this story is the way it is, Pierce, of course, also went on to work in video games, most notably forming an MMORPG gold-farming company and gaming website alongside human canker sore Steven Bannon. His work in crypto has made him a lot of money and, probably because he has so much money, Pierce now wants to be President Of The United States Of America.

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There. There’s some more red meat for all you wolves out there to gnaw on. Not like this year hasn’t been enough of a clusterfuck already, we now have to deal with whatever’s going on with an up-jumped Disney child star, his connections to Epstein and Bannon, and somehow try to make sense of cryptocurrency yet again in the process. Jesus Christ, already, give us a break.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

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Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.

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