Did we mention it's a slow news day? Is it ever. It's so damn slow that news of Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy is splattered everywhere, from the front page of CNN.com to our own little corner of the world. Say, what else is passing for "news" out there?

- The announcement of Spears' pregnancy is unfortunately overshadowing that of Lily Allen, who's expecting her own out-of-wedlock bundle of joy—a collaboration with Chemical Brother Ed Simon, so it'll probably be really cool when it first comes out and then get sort of overbearing and dully repetitive after a while. (Yahoo! News, of course, couldn't resist pulling some pun on "Smile"—though sadly nothing about "fucking the girl next door.")

- Did Jay-Z and Beyonce finally get married in a private Paris ceremony? Did they exchange tattoos instead of rings? Will there ever be a day when this rumor stops hitting the web?

- Queen Latifah will join Kirstie Alley and Valerie Bertinelli as the latest fading star to make a desperate grab for the spotlight spokesperson for Jenny Craig.

- OMG you guys, Lindsay Lohan is totes a lesbian now!

Advertisement