In a typically breathless announcement, former Skid Row singer Sebastian Bach says guitarist Slash has contacted him "out of the blue" about a "top-secret job"—though despite rumors and all logic to the contrary, it was not to invite him to replace Scott Weiland as the frontman for Velvet Revolver. Such a move would be "awkward," Bach says, considering his friendship with Slash's estranged former partner Axl Rose. (Though, uh, apparently there's a loophole that still allows him to be a part of whatever this mystery project is.) Practically begging you to care, Bach was not particularly forthcoming with details, saying only that he was "sworn to secrecy," but did insist that, whatever it is, it's "mind-blowing." Of course, it's worth noting that lots of things are "mind-blowing" in Bach's world—including the announcement that a former member of Accept would play a single show with him, the tracks that Axl contributed to his recent solo CD, the ratings for the season finale of Gilmore Girls, the way sometimes puddles capture little rainbows—so a modicum of perspective is required. Still, OMG WHAT COULD IT BE?!