The great minds at Asshole Monthly, er, Maxim have named Sarah Jessica Parker unsexiest woman. Sayeth Maxim: "How the hell did this Barbaro-faced broad manage to be the least sexy woman in a group of very unsexy women and still star on a show with 'sex' in the title? Pull your skirt down, Secretariat, we'd rather ride Chris Noth." (That's the kind of witty, insightful prose that sells Axe body spray and date rape drugs!) Also showing up in the top five are Amy Winehouse, Sandra Oh, Madonna, and Britney Spears.