One sharknado is freakish—but hey, these things happen. Two sharknados seems implausible, and three deadly maelstroms really stretch credulity. Four sharknados, though? That actually kind of makes sense, if we consider the possibility that nature is actively working toward humanity’s destruction, due perhaps to our insatiable appetite for silly spectacle and our infatuation with attention-seeking celebrities. And if so, Sharknado: The 4th Awakens is surely the film of the zeitgeist. Syfy’s fourth installment in its bewilderingly successful predatory fish/meteorological disaster film series will feature more off-brand celebrity cameos than seems manageable for its feature-length running time, E! News reports.
The main cast will include inveterate shark hunters Ian Ziering and probably Tara Reid (more on that later). Fox News host Stacey Dash, fresh off her uncomfortable appearance at the Oscars, will be popping up as the mayor of Chicago. Dr. Drew Pinsky will play a pastor, Married with Children’s David Faustino will be a Las Vegas gambler, Duane “Dog the Bounty Hunter” Chapman will sell chainsaws, and Benjy Bronk (The Howard Stern Show) will host his own morning show in the Sharknado universe. Additionally, Vince Neil, Wayne Newton, and a big chunk of the cast of USA’s Chrisley Knows Best are onboard to play themselves. Hold on, we’re not done: Corey Taylor, Patti Stanger, Frank Mir, Lori Greiner, Jay DeMarcus, Alexandra Paul, Gena Lee Nolan, T’Keyah Crystal Keymah, Carrie Keagan, Kym Johnson, Robert Herjavec, and Cynthia Bailey are also getting squeezed into the frame somehow.
The latest installment of this franchise picks up five years after the events of 2015’s Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!, and the world has somehow managed to make it half a decade without any water spouts scooping up communities of sharks and relocating them into the middle of a major U.S. city. Whether or not Reid’s character was squashed dead by the wreckage of a plummeting space shuttle in the final moments of the last installment remains an open question. We’ll just have to wait until Sharknado: The 4th Awakens premieres on Syfy on July 31 to know the truth.