Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Illustration for article titled Shade queen James Cameron is confident iAvatar 2/i will snatch iEndgame/is box office crown
Photo: Eamonn M. McCormack (Getty Images)

For a little over two decades, James Cameron was king of the world(wide box office): 1997's Titanic sat at the top of the global box office charts until 2009's Avatar took its place. All was right in Cameron’s world until those meddling Russo brothers came along with Avengers: Endgame, which unseated Avatar as the ruler of the international box office. But perhaps history will look back upon Marvel’s reign not as a taint upon the house of Cameron, but a merely unfortunate blip in an otherwise long and prosperous rule. Cameron, first of his name, king of the oceans and ruler of Sea-Doos, will return in 2021 with the first in a series of new heirs eager to take their rightful place among their forebears. Yes, for Papa Cameron has been toiling away for many a fortnight, tinkering with advanced technology—the likes of which mortal men have never seen—to bring us Avatar 2 (and 3, and 4, and... 5? Pretty sure that’s all of them).

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And when Cameron unleashes Avatar 2 upon movie screens, he is sure—nay, certain—that it will make Endgame look like Norbit or some other, lesser piece of “cinematic history.” Speaking with USA Today, his royal sea-highness expressed the firm belief that Avatar 2 will top Endgame at the worldwide box office. “I think it’s a certainty,” said Cameron. But his flimsy mortal skin-suit could no longer contain the ravenous shade queen within, who abruptly emerged to add, “But let’s give Endgame their moment and let’s celebrate that people are going to the movie theater.” As of this writing, it is unclear if the Russo brothers and/or Martin Scorsese have been treated for this burn.

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