Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Sexy onions deemed too hot for Facebook

Illustration for article titled Sexy onions deemed too hot for Facebook
Photo: Joff Lee (Getty Images)

Before you read on, go ahead and start the soundtrack:

Hello there, stranger. Welcome to the sexiest corner of the internet. We’ve got onions. These onions:

Advertisement

Look at the way those onions are all nestled against each other. Filthy. Depraved. How many onions is that? The answer is the perfect number of onions.

Gaze Seed Company just wants to sell seeds, though. They’re not in the softcore onion business, they’re in the seeds-to-grow-onions-of-a-regular-amount-of-sexiness business. Here’s CBC:

Jackson McLean, a manager at Gaze Seed Company, said the business was unable to advertise its walla walla onions on Facebook after the company told them the picture on the seed’s packaging went against Facebook’s advertising guidelines.

“We got notified the other day that it’s an ‘overtly sexual image’ that they had to ban from the site,” McLean said Monday. “I guess something about the two round shapes there could be misconstrued as boobs or something, nude in some way.”

Advertisement

Facebook, always misconstruing produce for boobs and contributing to the collapse of society. What rogues they are.

Those onions which are definitely not human breasts reportedly got that firm denial from an algorithm, rather than a Mike Pence type in whatever department keeps Facebook from being riddled with pornographic produce. But unlike so many things, Facebook actually went about rectifying this mistake. In a followup story from CBC (bearing the delightful headline “Peeled back: ‘Overtly sexual’ onions get Facebook reprieve”), Facebook explained its reversal:

“We use automated technology to keep nudity off our apps,” wrote Meg Sinclair, Facebook Canada’s head of communications. “But sometimes it doesn’t know a walla walla onion from a, well, you know. We restored the ad and are sorry for the business’ trouble.”

Advertisement

And now, some pornography.

Advertisement

This next one is positively obscene.

Advertisement

One more, because we’re so bad:

Advertisement

So hey Facebook next maybe do something about Nazis or blatantly false political ads or one of the many major problems on your site, okay thanks bye!

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

Advertisement

Contributor, The A.V. Club and The Takeout. Allison loves TV, bourbon, and overanalyzing social interactions. Please buy her book, How TV Can Make You Smarter (Chronicle, 2020). It’s short!

Share This Story

Get our newsletter