(Photo collage: Nick Wanserski)

The townspeople of Celoron, New York have won their fight against evil, as Entertainment Weekly reports that the Lucille Ball statue that’s terrorized the town with its frozen grimace for the last seven years will officially be replaced by a less grotesque monument this week. The town’s elders haven’t revealed what animal or human sacrifice was made to banish the sculpted demon once and for all, but it was undoubtedly worth it to rid themselves of the worst tribute to a performer outside of these regrettable renderings.

The “Scary Lucy” statue, also known as “Ugly Lucy,” wasn’t intended to turn Celoron into the 10th circle of Hell. Sculptor Dave Poulin certainly didn’t set out to capture the stuff of nightmares and then place them in a park, where they could easily haunt children. Still, Poulin’s expressed his regret for years now, and has been ready to replace the terrifying visage with something less terrifying and less suited to a haunted house.


Unfortunately, Celoron’s inhabitants aren’t willing to take that risk again. So while they’re intent on having a Lucille Ball statue in their town, they’ve commissioned one from Carolyn Palmer, who’s crafted monuments to Eleanor Roosevelt and Thomas Jefferson. Palmer reportedly prepared for the task by “watching I Love Lucy” and “working with models” for nine months to create the new 6-foot statue. It will be unveiled August 6, on what would have been Ball’s 105th birthday. It still could be, if Palmer’s artistic mission statement of “bringing bronze to life” is more than just a motto.