Photo: Alex Wong / Getty Images

After waking up, like the rest of us, to the news that paw-paw’s done let the Twitter bull out into the virtual briar patch again, deputy press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders was given the task of defending Trump’s latest bout of irritable vowel syndrome. She did so on Fox News, the obvious choice of network to defend a sexist comment for reasons that we’ll decline to expand upon here but will absolutely passive-aggressively hyperlink.

Anyway, Sanders—who was presumably annoyed at having her morning of emailing the neighborhood association about the Millers leaving their trash cans out on the curb until 8 p.m. when it was obvious they had been home since six interrupted—said that while it might seem to the layperson as if Trump simply lashes out at women due to deep-seated insecurities about his masculinity, he’s actually shooting from another, nearby area: His hip. So confusing!

“I don’t think that the president has ever been someone who gets attacked and doesn’t push back,” she told Fox News host Bill Hemmer. “There have been outrageous personal attacks not just on him but on everyone around him. People on that show have personally attacked me many times. This is a president who fights fire with fire, and certainly will not be allowed to be bullied by liberal media, or the liberal elites within the media, or Hollywood, or anywhere else.” Asked why this particular attack had to be so personal, she responded: “I think I’ve addressed that as much as I can.”

Anyhow, Melania Trump’s campaign against cyberbullying is going great. It doesn’t have a website, or a fully functioning staff, or a mission statement, and cyberbullying experts say they haven’t heard anything from her yet, but as yet another clue that she absolutely hates being the First Lady, it’s tremendous. We take what we can get these days.

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