Christmas music hates you. It’s cloying. It plays on a loop. It reenters the public consciousness earlier and earlier every year. If anything is asking to be ruined by online monsters, it’s Christmas music. Thank goodness, then, for YouTuber Michael M, whose cursed signature is in making music as annoying as possible.
Here, for example is Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime” except it’s comprised only of the lyrics “The moon is right.”
Here’s “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby, but just “I’m dreaming” on repeat, which makes this dreadful song even more of a lullaby than it needs to be.
And here’s the Slade’s “Merry XMas Everybody,” but all of the lyrics are just “Are you hanging up your stocking on the wall?” which is such a frustrating taunt.
Why not sneak one of these jams on your Christmas playlist to annoy the hell out of your family and make them wonder what it is you do on the internet all day? We’d imagine Bing Crosby repeating the words “I’m dreaming” would fit perfectly between the millionth spin of DMX’s “Rudolf The Red-Nosed Reindeer” and Mariah’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You.” Happy holidays!