Well, now we know how far Robert Pattinson will go for his art, and that is “just short of giving a dog a hand job.” Pattinson discovered this hard limit on the set of his new film Good Time—which comes recommended out of Cannes by our own A.A. Dowd, by the way—in which his character has a, um, special bond with canines. Pattinson explained the sticky situation (sorry) on last night’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!, where he said, “There’s a lot of things in this movie which really cross the line of reality. It’s not even on the line, it’s way beyond the line.” Go on…
“There’s this one scene, which we shot, which basically, there’s a drug dealer who busts into the room and I was sleeping with the dog and basically giving the dog a hand job,” he added. He said that he approached the dog’s trainer about the scene after directors Benny and Josh Safdie basically told him to quit being such a baby about it; Pattinson said the breeder told him that sure, the dog wasn’t fixed or anything, and to get things, um, in motion, “’You gotta massage the inside of his thighs.’” (And that, friends, is apparently how you end up with a freezer full of dog sperm.)
Pattinson ended up backing down from actually performing an act of bestiality on camera, which turned out for the best considering that the scene was ultimately cut from the film. But Daniel Day-Lewis would have done it. Hell, he’d apprentice himself under a Florentine dog-wanker for years before shooting just to perfect his technique. Just saying.