Slaver's Bay, anyone? The non-Westeros part of the map

Tens of millions of people have already become obsessed with the epic struggles to seize control of Westeros on Game Of Thrones. Now, those impatient with the show’s characters and all their dithering can step up and take control of some armies themselves, whether they break the wheel or not. Hasbro and HBO have teamed up with customized board game company USAopoly to release a special Game Of Thrones edition of the classic strategy game Risk. Now, families who previously bonded over the excitement of gathering around the TV on Sunday nights can instead turn on each other, ending their nights in tears and acrimony, the way God and board games always intended.

The game includes two custom boards (one for the seven kingdoms and the other for Essos), various armies, three different means of play, and more than 650 pieces in total. In short, it’s a large and complicated system, much like George R.R. Martin’s fantasy world itself. The game is scheduled to come out in August 2015, and you can pre-order it now on Entertainment Earth. (Amazon is supposedly taking pre-orders as well, but at present is saying “currently unavailable,” so it’s as pointless a visit as The Hound and Arya’s trip to the Vale.) Place your order, and soon you, too, can be weeping tears of frustration as nothing goes the way you’d hoped. Wow, it really will be just like living in Westeros.

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