Rick Springfield was in court yesterday, facing allegations that his butt caused “serious, disabling and permanent injuries” to plaintiff Vicki Calcagno while the ’80s pop star performed at a 2004 concert outside Syracuse, N.Y. According to the Syracuse Post-Standard, the case is a retrial of a 2007 suit that alleged Springfield fell into the crowd, rendering Calcagno “disoriented or unconscious for at least 10 minutes.” (Calcagno’s attorney, Kenneth Goldblatt, had suggested she probably wasn’t conked out for quite that long.) The judge presiding over the original case declared a mistrial when Penny Anne Nolin stepped forward, claiming that she was struck by Springfield’s butt at the same concert.

Nolin was called to the stand yesterday, where she testified that Springfield fell backwards, delivering a powerful ass-strike to her forehead and dropping her to her knees. Nolin claims she didn’t see Calcagno or anybody else get hurt, presumably because Springfield’s butt was blocking her field of vision.

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Meanwhile, Springfield’s tour manager, Ronald Grinel, testified that his concert responsibilities include keeping close watch over the musician (a job that would have been the envy of many an eighth grade girl circa 1981). According to Grinel, Springfield did not fall at that concert. Furthermore, Grinel testified, that in 2008, Calcagno accosted him at a resort in Verona, NY, where he was giving his deposition for the 2007 trial. Calcagno allegedly asked Grinel for tickets to a Springfield performance being held at the resort. Goldblatt denies the allegations, countering that it was Grinel who offered Calcagno the tickets.

Springfield himself also took the stand, admitting under oath to being a “heartthrob,” acknowledging that female fans “grab my butt if they’re feeling a little saucy,” and reportedly yelling, crying, and becoming so emotional that at one point he was “given a tissue for his tears.”

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The trial of Rick Springfield’s butt is expected to resume today, hopefully shedding light on some pressing questions—such as how many women can Rick Springfield butt-hurt at one time? What, exactly, are these “permanent injuries” that Springfield’s butt allegedly inflicted? And should concertgoers have a fair expectation of safety when they crowd around a performer’s butt?

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