Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Remember when they promised to remake Commando last? They lied

There’s no point in gnashing teeth over the lack of original script ideas at this point; you’re only going to end up with some sort of abscess or something and have to be fitted for a mouth-guard. But we understand that when it comes to remaking a film like 1985’s Commando—which was less about a memorable story and more about the inimitable chemistry between Arnold Schwarzenegger and a shitload of grenades, and lines like, “Don’t disturb my friend—he’s dead tired” that only work when delivered in a flat Austrian accent—it’s a bit more vexing than most. Deadline reports that a reboot of the film that launched Rae Dawn Chong into superstardom is currently in the hands of Training Day writer David Ayer, who will supposedly put “his own real-world spin” on the original’s premise of a retired special forces operative who must team up with a flight attendant to kill the rival of an exiled dictator who’s kidnapped his daughter. Which, again, if a fresh “spin” is what they’re going for, it seems as though they could have just created their own version of that kind of story without telling anyone it was a remake. Ah, but then no one would be writing about it long before the script is even finished, so maybe we’re beginning to see the value in remakes after all…


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