Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Illustration for article titled Read this: Val Kilmers death in iMacGruber/i was supposed to be a hell of a lot gnarlier
Screenshot: MacGruber (YouTube)

2020 marks the 10th anniversary of cult comedy MacGruber, as well as the year it was officially announced that NBCUniversal would be reviving Will Forte and Jorma Taccone’s gonzo creation for Peacock, its new streaming platform. In celebration, The Ringer rounded up Forte, Taccone, Maya Rudolph, Val Kilmer, and Ryan Phillippe for a highly entertaining deep dive into its history, legacy, and future.

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The piece is packed with amusing insight and behind-the-scenes factoids—Lorne Michaels took pictures of the strar’s bare ass during the cemetery sex scene, apparently; “I guess Lorne had a little Forte fetish,” cracks Forte—but one anecdote answers a question that’s long haunted fans of the film: Why doesn’t MacGruber fulfill his promise to rip off Dieter Von Cunth’s penis and feed it to him?

It was planned for MacGruber to do so, reveals Taccone, but Val Kilmer, who played Von Cunth, put a stop to it. “I’m still upset about that. Genuinely,” Taccone told The Ringer. “I described it to Val so many times. I was like, ‘It’s going to be beautifully shot, Val. We’ll cut off your dick. We’ll bring it up. It’ll be in silhouettes. It’ll just be the shape of the dick and there’ll be sun behind it gleaming.’ And he would laugh so hard every time I pitched it. And I was like, ‘You’re laughing!’ He was like, ‘It would only be funny if I was a lesser star.’ And I was like, ‘I thoroughly disagree with that.’”

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Instead, Kilmer’s Von Cunth is thrown from a mountain, riddled with bullets, and blown up with a grenade. He could still return, however; Forte previously said “the whole group will be back” for the series, and Taccone’s mentioned Von Cunth specifically, saying he’ll “have half a head” after dying so many times. If Kilmer does return, however, he won’t be the Big Bad; a synopsis for the Peacock series names MacGruber’s adversary as Brigadier Commander Enos Queeth, “a mysterious villain from his past.”

When the MacGruber series premieres remains unclear—Peacock will launch to the public in July—but, whenever it does, trust Forte when he says “throat rips will be all over this thing.”

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Randall Colburn is The A.V. Club's Internet Culture Editor. He lives in Chicago, occasionally writes plays, and was a talking head in Best Worst Movie, the documentary about Troll 2.

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