After 27 seasons of The Simpsons, by now poor Marge should be inured to her husband Homer’s hapless, misguided, and yet still sincere romantic gestures. He’s been making them since before they were married. Remember that piping-hot onion ring he placed on her finger in the “I Married Marge” episode instead of an actual engagement ring made of precious metal? A flashback to the couple’s casino-based nuptials in the season-eight classic “A Milhouse Divided,” meanwhile, reveals that Homer celebrated what should have been the happiest day of his life by presenting his pregnant bride with a store-bought cake with the oblivious, insulting inscription “To A Whale Of A Wife.” While not warmly received by Marge, that cake must have made a strong impression on Paste’s Laurel Randolph, who has decided to make the infamous dessert in real life and present the recipe so that readers can do likewise. Since the cake in the show is based on Carvel’s Fudgie The Whale, Randolph begins her culinary journey there. “The recipe is really a how-to for recreating the signature Carvel cake,” she writes, “but with blue icing instead of fudge icing and a nice comment about Marge written on top.”
This turns out to be a combination of recipe and art project. Among the necessary culinary ingredients are chocolate and vanilla ice cream, whipped topping, and sandwich cookies. None of that will make a cake whale-shaped, so Randolph also prescribes plastic wrap, a hot-glue gun, an X-Acto knife, and “some awesome cardboard skills.” The idea is to make a cardboard whale template, line it with plastic wrap, and add the ingredients as directed. “A Milhouse Divided” is remembered for the song “Can I Borrow A Feeling?” by Kirk Van Houten, but dedicated Simpsons fans will likely have to borrow more than that to make this project a reality. Best of luck to those who dare.