The riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma and covered with frantic dog pee that is Randy and Evi Quaid’s run from the Hollywood Star Whackers is about to be fully exposed—or, well, even more fully exposed somehow, given that the couple has pretty much spent the last couple of months talking about it to anyone who will listen. But now it will be exposed within the covers of a book that you can buy from them, provided the Quaids can find the proper ghost writer to chronicle their folie a deux follies in a “tell-all” that will hopefully finally elucidate how, for example, the Hollywood Star Whackers would benefit by strangling David Carradine and shooting publicist Ronni Chasen, while also stealing Randy Quaid’s Days Of Thunder money.

According to a source who spoke to RadarOnline—a site which the Quaids claimed is owned by the police in a recent, typically paranoid interview with Esquire (which also contains gruesomely detailed descriptions of how they expect to die), so who can trust them, really?—their story is bound to be a hot property and “no one expects them to have any problems getting a publisher.” Until, of course, the entire publishing industry turns up dead of a “sleeping pill overdose.”