Now that our sickly, cinnamon-wild boy Sean Spicer has resigned, the White House communications office—that is, the elite cadre of saps wrestling with the chaos of the president’s Twitter account—is in the midst of a shake-up. A new brand, baby, a fresh start, and who better to lead the way than new communications director Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci, who definitely agrees with his boss on every issue and always has, without a doubt.
At least, that’s what Scaramucci would like you to believe, as he’s deleted all his old tweets wherein he voiced support for everything from Jeb Bush and Hillary Clinton to climate change research and increased gun control. In a deft rhetorical flourish that could only come from the mind of a maverick outsider like the Wall Street-bred Scaramucci, he framed the purge as “full transparency.”
That clears that up, right? Between Scaramucci and Spicer’s immediate replacement, the equally ineffectual Sarah Huckabee Sanders, things are going to change around here. No more old tweets, no more gum chewing, and no more half measures. For example, today Mad Dog Scaramucci threatened to fire “everybody” if the press office’s internal leaks don’t stop.
“If I’ve got to get the thing down to me and Sarah Huckabee, then the leaking will stop,” he told reporters. The Mooch has it under control, folks. Just you watch.