Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Illustration for article titled Put that coffee down and watch Kathryn Hahns kids recreate iGlengarry Glen Ross/i with dolls
Screenshot: Glengarry Glen Ross (YouTube)

David Mamet’s Glengarry Glen Ross is one of the best plays of the ‘80s, one of the best movies of the ‘90s, and one of the most toilet-mouthed pieces of art of all time. Sure, its soul-crushing depiction of Chicago real estate hustlers and the weight of the grind is plenty absorbing, but the real joy comes from watching actors wrap their mouths around Mamet’s rat-a-tat language and gobsmacking obscenities. There’s a reason Alec Baldwin’s iconic, brow-beating monologue has become as quoted as a golden-era Simpsons episode.

But, because Baldwin’s monologue exists only in the film, not the play, it isn’t included in this excellent clip of Kathryn Hahn and her kids performing scenes from it, which was posted as part of the Geffen Playhouse’s “Geffen Stayhouse” quarantine series. Instead, Hahn, her husband Ethan Sandler, and their children recruit a few American Girl dolls to knock out some less vulgar scenes featuring characters played onscreen by Al Pacino, Alan Arkin, and Kevin Spacey. That said, there’s no avoiding the text’s myriad of “fucks,” so you’ll still get to hear a pre-teen say “don’t fuck with me, fella” to her dad.

Hahn, who recently stunned as Mrs. Fletcher’s titular protagonist, also appears as Arkin’s Aaronow, which allows her to declare she’s “through with this fucking meshugaas” through her American Girl counterpart. In the end, all the dolls get a bow, including Brownie, a stuffed dog that marks the family’s only addition to the original material.

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If you’re entertained, perhaps you’ll consider donating to the Geffen, which, like every other theater in America, is figuring out what to do when you can’t have a live audience.

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Randall Colburn is The A.V. Club's Internet Culture Editor. He lives in Chicago, occasionally writes plays, and was a talking head in Best Worst Movie, the documentary about Troll 2.

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