For too long, the old have had to give the young unwarranted advice through inconvenient methods like yelling at them on the street or cornering them at Thanksgiving dinner. Thankfully, writer/director/real “punk kid” Alex Frecon has streamlined this process by airing a commercial for a new hotline that allows boomers to use cutting-edge old people technology—broadcast TV and toll-free phone numbers—to give the young’uns the kind of advice they so desperately need.
The ad stars Frecon as a real live punk—the kind who threaten the elderly by flying around on skateboards outside the entrance to the banks they need to enter in order to deposit their $32 checks. Rather than menace the older generation like his peers, Frecon just wants to help by providing a number that boomers can call to pass along whatever wisdom they have to share with today’s misbegotten youth.
“Are you an old person? Are you sick of people being dumber than you and not listening to your advice?” Frecon says at the beginning of the ad. “I’m a punk kid doing no-good things with my life and I need your advice!”
Watch him wobble around on a skateboard wearing his backwards baseball cap and know that, yes, Frecon needs all the guidance he can get. For the rest of us who identify with his aimless lifestyle, take heart: the ad’s YouTube description promises that the second part of his commercial, in which “all your questions will be answered,” is “coming soon.” While we’re waiting, let’s try to predict what some of the boomer advice will be and preemptively turn down our loud “music,” consider the importance of saving for a house, and remember that we have nobody to blame but ourselves for every one of our problems.
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