“If I could put time in a bottle,” Jim Croce once sang, creating yet another musical idea that could then be sampled by Sean “Puff Daddy” Combs. And it took Sean “P. Diddy” Combs many years and countless dollars he earned from dead rappers, but at last he did put time in a bottle. Sean “P.G. Wodehouse” Combs called his creation 3AM, a new celebrity fragrance that will evoke that hour of night when inhibitions are lowered and romance is sparked, and everyone absolutely reeks of bergamot. And to capture this time in a video-bottle, he filmed himself and his girlfriend having sex.
As Combs’ recently explained to Style.com, 3 a.m. is “a very one-on-one time”—the clubs are closed, the crowds have dissipated, and you are finally all alone with your anxieties. Or, in Combs’ world, “It’s definitely an hour where you would find yourself with a young lady”—specifically, his girlfriend, R&B ingénue Cassie Ventura—and it’s “time to have fun and push the envelope a little bit,” such as not drinking some water and just going to sleep. No, according to this very NSFW commercial, it’s a time when a Puff Daddy and a Puff Mommy who love each other very much start with some light slapping and choking, then simulate intercourse.
3 a.m. is also “citrusy.”
Of course, Combs recognizes that some may deem this video of a naked woman grinding on him, posing topless for his yeah, uh-huh approval, then spreading her legs while he thrusts into her as something “racy and provocative.” But really, it’s about love. “My concept is that love is the new sexy,” says Combs, a visionary who previously declared water the new water.
Yet not surprisingly, Macy’s doesn’t understand love. Page Six reports that the chain repeatedly asked Combs to re-edit the ad and remove some of the nudity, the thrusting, and other things that sell perfume. Delays from those edits reportedly even threatened the launch of 3AM itself, creating a contentious time that, were it a fragrance, would smell like rosewater and yelling. And no amount of Puff Daddy pretending to have sex could make that appealing.
Fortunately, it all worked out—like things always do at 3 a.m.—and now 3AM is set to debut tomorrow, albeit with a slightly toned-down version of the ad. Nevertheless, Combs still wants “a lot of people to get laid” with his perfume, which he says is both unisex and, reassuringly, capable of being worn at other hours.
“It doesn’t have to be literal,” Combs explains. “3AM is a moment, a time or a feeling. The customer is sophisticated enough to know they can wear it 24 hours.” Early-morning business meetings, mid-morning brunches, noontime dentist appointments, late-afternoon funerals, evening strolls through Tindr alone in your apartment, 3 a.m. trips to the bathroom—that sexy, 3 a.m. feeling is always waiting to be sprayed all over you by Sean “Puffy” Combs, the man who ejaculated time into a bottle.