2016 has been a year we hated dearly and passionately every step of the way, from the unexpected deaths of countless pop culture icons to the unexpected debasement of the American political system by a racist steak salesman. It has seemed, since that last indignity, as though we might have gotten through the worst of it; that we could perhaps just clench our fists, grit our teeth, and day-drink through all of the holidays, and soon enough it would be over. At least we’d get some time off. Right?
Of fucking course not. As Joseph Sudiro points out on Twitter, this year Christmas, Christmas Eve, and New Year’s Eve fall on weekends, so chances are good that there isn’t even a shortened week for most people. There is about a 14 percent chance of this happening on any given year, but it feels cosmically ordained this time. Expect it to snow battery acid this year.