Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Professional quirky villain Javier Bardem might play a quirky villain in Pirates Of The Caribbean 5

Illustration for article titled Professional quirky villain Javier Bardem might play a quirky villain in iPirates Of The Caribbean 5/i

Is there any proof that Javier Bardem isn’t really an immortal supervillain who travels the world adopting weird affectations and coming up with wacky schemes? It just seems suspicious that the same guy can play a uniquely weird villain in No Country For Old Men, Eat Pray Love, and Skyfall without having some kind of relevant real-life experience. We’re not saying he’s evil or anything, just that we shouldn’t let him near any costume shops or machines that can control the weather. He’d have a field day.

Anyway, according to The Wrap, Bardem is currently in talks to play the villain in Pirates Of The Caribbean 5. The article says he’ll probably be a ghost pirate, which, honestly, goes without saying. The only question is what will make his ghost pirate—a guy named Captain Brand who wants revenge against Johnny Depp’s Jack Sparrow—into a truly memorable bad guy. We’re thinking he could wear a rainbow wig, or maybe he just sings all of the time. The Pirates movies have been surprisingly light on singing.

The Wrap theorizes that Penelope Cruz, who is married to Bardem, “sold [him] on the idea” of doing a Pirates movie, presumably by reminding him that he’d get to hang out with Johnny Depp by the ocean for a while and then make a ton of money. Cruz appeared in 2011’s Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, so she already has some experience getting paid a bunch of money to hang out with Johnny Depp by the ocean. Speaking of doing that, Geoffrey Rush, Ian McShane, and Stephen Graham are all expected to return, and The Wrap says “there could be cameos from Orlando Bloom and Keith Richards as well.” Hanging out with Johnny Depp and a ton of money for everyone!

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