Biblical miniseries are the hottest thing on basic cable since pawn shops and child beauty pageants, so it should come as no surprise that Lifetime, a network already perfectly comfortable with pandering to its audience, is joining the fray. Lifetime has announced that it will be adapting Anita Diamant’s The Red Tent for television in a two-part miniseries. The predictably mom-friendly cast will include Minnie Driver, Morena Baccarin, Debra Winger, The White Queen’s Rebecca Ferguson, and Game Of Thrones’ Iain Glen and Will Tudor.

The Red Tent is the tale of Dinah—and for readers who skipped Bible study to smoke reefers behind the fellowship hall, Dinah was the daughter of Leah and Jacob, who is only briefly mentioned in the Old Testament. The Red Tent begins in Dinah’s childhood and tells not only her story but the stories of her father, his four wives, and, most likely, some gross lady stuff, seeing as the tent is red and all (and this is on Lifetime). Next up: Spike TV’s epic, six-hour miniseries detailing the lives, loves, and family trees of every seed Onan spilled.

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