Bonecage, the musical maniac behind “I Always Feel Like (I’m Gonna Quantum Leap),” has struck again with an unfairly catchy, original tune about America’s favorite Italianate casual dining restaurant chain. “Olive Garden Butthole (What A Perfect Sunday)” is a hymn to all things Olive Garden, from the chain’s famous breadsticks to the bountiful leftovers to be enjoyed the next day. Actually, “hymn” is not too strong a word here, since Bonecage repeatedly refers to the place simply as “the Garden,” suggesting that the restaurant is a modern-day Garden Of Eden, except that this one is way better because people can always come back to it. And at one strange juncture, Jesus Christ somehow gets dragged into all of this, apparently choosing Olive Garden as the perfect spot for the Last Supper. Representative lyrics: “On the seventh day, Jesus would say, ‘Never-ending pasta bowls right after we pray.’ / Whole wheat pasta with a five-cheese sauce / The perfect meal before dying before dying on a cross!’” All of this musical strangeness is accompanied by footage taken directly from Olive Garden commercials, so there are plenty of shots of happy, well-fed patrons and numerous half-tempting, half-nauseating “food porn” shots of oily, shiny, cheese-laden cuisine.
But what of that mysterious but memorable chorus? Is an “Olive Garden Butthole” someone who is an asshole for liking Olive Garden too much, or is “butthole” just a funny word? Bonecage himself explains, sort of:
“Butthole” is just a random word with no real meaning. Hard to explain, but it’s when you google something and then just add “butthole” to whatever you’re searching for. It’s very juvenile, just like I like it!”
So that settles that. It’s a Google thing.
Most of Bonecage’s previous songs are about movies, TV shows, and video games. What inspired him to do a song about Olive Garden this time instead? He says he originally wrote it for Brian Redban of The Joe Rogan Experience podcast and that, “just to be courteous,” Redban should actually get credit for the song’s lyrics. Regardless of where this Olive Garden obsession began, “Olive Garden Butthole” is one of those insidious earworms which is likely to stay with listeners for hours after they first hear it. Ironically, it may even drive some business to a certain restaurant chain.