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Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Praise be, for here's the dire, despairing Game Of Thrones ending we deserved

Illustration for article titled Praise be, for heres the dire, despairing iGame Of Thrones/i ending we deserved
Screenshot: HBO

[Spoilers for Game of Thrones season eight, episode six.]

So, you’ve finished Game of Thrones. And while the show you’ve known and loved has beaten your heart into the ground, shot your nerves, and made you more paranoid of possible characters deaths than perhaps any other show out there, you still came back season after season. It was probably quite surprising, then, that more arcs than not had a “happily ever after” feel to them. Sure, you had Daenerys dying, King’s Landing destroyed, and Jon “banished” to the North, but it was a relatively optimistic end for Tyrion, Brienne, Davos, Bronn, and, most of all, the Stark clan. That may ring untrue to some and, if you’re one of them, we’re happy to inform you that the internet’s got you covered.


Dan Olson (@FoldableHuman) edited the last two minutes of the episode into a musical ending a la John Hughes. Set to Tears For Fears’ “Everybody Wants To Rule The World,” freeze frames of all the major living characters are set against their (mostly) awful post-credits fates. The Night’s Watch doesn’t serve a purpose anymore, so they’ve disbanded. Winter decimated the North and Arya named the West Westereros (got ‘em!). Gendry got beaten up, Bronn died three days after starting his campaign to rebuild the brothels, and Sam died of disease kinda like on the Oregon Trail.


It also pokes fun at Tyrion’s devotion to his family, even in death (and even though they were terrible people). Thankfully, the non-human characters were spared death and destruction, with Drogon doing what he does best and destroying Essos’ countryside, thus making his mama proud. As for Ghost? Well, he got what he deserved, with all the pats he so desired. There’s no word on how the realm utilized its discovery of plastics and coffee cups, but perhaps an answer lies in the spin-offs.

Alani Vargas is an entertainment writer and A.V. Club contributor. Her work also appears on Showbiz Cheat Sheet, INSIDER, Bustle, Refinery29, and Elite Daily.

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