Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Please, we’re begging, make this Patrick Stewart/Ian McKellen gardening detective show a reality

Illustration for article titled Please, we’re begging, make this Patrick Stewart/Ian McKellen gardening detective show a reality
Photo: David M. Benett / Contributor (Getty Images)

Here’s the deal. We have some context to add to this idea, and you’ll find it further down the page. But really, the aim of this article is simple. In the grand tradition of the Lupita Nyong’o/Rihanna heist movie (which we’re really hoping is still happening?) we are simply attempting to signal-boost a very good idea for a proposed entertainment, as found on Twitter.

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This time, the source is not a fun caption on a publicity still, but a whole vibe from fantasy novelist M.L. Brennan.

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Honestly, that’s enough, we’re sold. But Brennan kept going, and seriously, has HBO reached out yet?

Perfect, honestly. We would watch the hell out of that.

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“JUST DRIVE, LEWIS!”

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Ah yes, the old biscuit ploy.

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There’s no universe in which Henry Cavill doesn’t say yes to this. That’s his new schedule, once we’re done sheltering-in-place: The Witcher, some spy movies, and tackling that man who stole the pills.

And then there’s this excellent point. Make Imelda Staunton a murderer! Cush Jumbo is a local café owner! Hugh Grant could basically play the exact same role he played in Paddington 2 and run a community theater!

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It’s worth reading further down the thread for suggestions submitted by others. Our favorite:

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The curious thing (here’s the context) is that this series actually taps into the kind of energy that Star Trek: Picard showrunner Michael Chabon said he wanted to capture for the show in early drafts. This is from an interview with Variety, published this week to coincide with the show’s first-season finale:

You know, personally speaking, my own tastes and inclination, I always said when we were in the earliest versions of the room for this show, if we could have just done a whole show about Picard and the dog on the vineyard in France, with no starships, no phasers, the only Romulans would be those two Romulans who work for him on the vineyard, and no politics — just, like, there’s a funfair down in the village and they all go, and maybe Picard solves a very low stakes mystery in the village, like, someone has stolen the antique bell out of the bell tower, or something like that? I would have loved to write that show. Um. I don’t think the world’s quite ready for a Star Trek show like that, and there’s probably maybe not that big of an audience for a Star Trek show like that.

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Mr. Chabon may be right, but the response to Brennan’s Twitter thread sure seems to indicate that there’s at least some audience for a show like that. When the Lupita/Rihanna idea took off, it promptly got the attention of director Ava DuVernay and writer Issa Rae, so we’re putting it out there. Please, for the love of god, when all this is over, someone make this show.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

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Contributor, The A.V. Club and The Takeout. Allison loves TV, bourbon, and overanalyzing social interactions. Please buy her book, How TV Can Make You Smarter (Chronicle, 2020). It’s short!

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