Extremely rich blowhard Bill O’Reilly is out of a goddamn job, booted to the curb after alleged decades of covert sexual harassment as well as confirmed decades of many more overt, televised crimes, such as race-baiting, jingoism, picking a fight with Cam’ron, and being a general asshole on TV every night. Over the many years of his 8 p.m. reign, he developed a sauntering, jovial hard-ass persona, full of little O’Reilly-isms like “friend of the program” and “the Factor” that all added to his folksy, small-town racist charm. One of the things he loved saying the most was his own name, which soared out of his mouth like a bald eagle swooping through the canyon of viewers’ minds.
Now that he’s out of a goddamn job (albeit with a parting gift of some $25 million), where will this poor pundit bellow his own name? Well, today he is set to fire off a new, hotly awaited episode of his No Spin News podcast, which has apparently been around for years but never with as much fanfare as today’s installment. And if there is any good left in this cold, fucked-up world, this will be its theme song:
Hell yeah, that is universally loathed Smash Mouth song “All Star” composed almost entirely of Bill O’Reilly saying the words “Bill O’Reilly” with the cocksure bluster only he can. It would make a fitting introduction for what will undoubtedly be an extremely lengthy, uncut screed from an unhinged narcissist, and thus probably a fair synopsis of the subject of this and all future episodes of No Spin News: Bill O’Reilly, Bill O’Reilly, and Bill O’Reilly.