Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Illustration for article titled And now, a brief history of Donald Trump thinking the F-35 is actually invisible
Photo: Alex Wong (Getty Images)

One of the many things that makes our president so strong, so powerful, so wonderful is the 20-piece Chicken McNugget meal that resides in the spot where regular low-energy people have a brain. Instead of a protective layer of cerebrospinal fluid, Donald J. Trump produces a unique blend of Honey Mustard, Sweet ‘N Sour, and of course classic Tangy Barbecue. This allows our 100% fresh beef commander in chief to create many moments of true perfect mind genius. Take, for instance, this week’s insistence that you need an ID to buy groceries. This wildly untrue assertion is so perfectly balanced between out-of-touch rich-guy bullshit and plain old dementia you could bottle it and sell it at the Sharper Image. But perhaps the most enduring example of Trump’s brain trying and failing to give him a seizure are—as helpfully cataloged in this clip from Vic Berger—the many, many times he has clearly thought that the Lockheed Martin F-35 Lightning II stealth fighter jet is literally invisible.

For what it is worth, which is far less than the $121.8 million price-tag, the F-35 is of course not invisible. It contains stealth design aspects to make it difficult to detect on radar and similar systems, but you and I and even the president can see it. It’s a big fucking jet that mostly sits on the runway where it is especially easy to see.


Far less easy to see is where exactly Trump got this idea of a plane you literally cannot see. Has Hollow Man been on HBO recently? Is he thinking of the time he had to take Eric and Don Jr. to see Predator and Eric cried the whole time? Is he thinking of Lynda Carter and her invisible jet and did you know that Lynda Carter was in pageants and he ran pageants until NBC was very unfair to him and has he told you about the time Miss Carter made a pass at him in 1982 and was very into him many people have said? The true answer, like an F-35, may never be clear.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

Contributor, The A.V. Club.

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