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Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Play conspiracy Madlibs with the Bigfoot hunter who finds a UFO while looking for chemtrails

Illustration for article titled Play conspiracy Madlibs with the Bigfoot hunter who finds a UFO while looking for chemtrails
Screenshot: Colorado Bigfoot (YouTube)

There’s the old saying that “life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” Usually we take this to mean that some of the most important moments of our lives occur, whether we realize it at the time or not, when we’re concentrating on other things. Now, though, we’ve realized what the quote is really trying to get at: Sometimes, when you’re out hunting down Bigfoot and examining chemtrails, you end up finding a UFO along the way.


This is what happened to Marc Abell, the truth-seeker who runs YouTube channel Colorado Bigfoot (a quote from its About page: “I investigate the Unseen World. I’m not here to teach 101. So once you have cleared yourself of the human brain washing I’m all over you. Until then please don’t bother me :-)). While out tracking down the illusive beast, he spotted an agent of the deep state piloting their chemtrail-farting jet across the sky. What happens next is hard to believe—for anyone who hasn’t scrubbed off their “human brain washing” at least.

Abell’s video starts off by describing what “they’re doing to us” over footage of a plane with vapor trailing behind it as it goes. Partway through, the Bigfoot hunter documenting mind-controlling chemtrails utters a startled “What is that?” over and over again, zooming in on a floating white object that seems to be flying in and out of the jet’s exhaust stream. We hear a cow moo in the distance, obviously concerned that it’s about to be mutilated by beef-loving aliens, as Abell maxes out his camera’s magnification to follow the UFOs’ uncanny movements.

The clip picks up again a few minutes later with him describing the white spot’s shape and patterns with illustrative hand gestures, discounting the possibility of it being a star and leaving us to conclude that, yes, that slippery motherfucker he recorded was a bonafide flying saucer. Of course the larger questions remain, even with this last part being totally beyond skepticism: What are those nasty little aliens doing bathing their ships in chemtrail juice? Why was the plane flying over this area in the first place? Does Bigfoot property value lower due to the noise pollution that comes from living beneath a joint UFO and Illuminati air force flight path?

It’s unlikely that we’ll ever have satisfactory answers to these concerns. But until we learn more, we’ll have to content ourselves with more compelling videos from Abell, like “20 COYOTES Suddenly Appear Behind Me As I ZOOM On The MOON,” or “Bigfoot Confirmed - Hundreds of Bigfoot Seats - Zooming On Forest Being.”

[via Boing Boing]

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Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.