Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Pizza Hut has its own, ill-advised “hip” clothing line now

Pizza Hut wants its customers to know that it’s totally down with the kids. That’s why it’s recently launched its own hideous line of pizza-themed apparel, featuring five-panel hats, “hilarious” hoodies, and pizza-print yoga leggings. The greasy fast-pizza chain created the items via a partnership with L.A. fashion brand Bella+Canvas, and printed a number of the items with photo-realistic images of their pizza, all of which most assuredly look tastier than any pizza you’ve ever ordered from Pizza Hut. While some of the items like the aforementioned pizza yoga pants keep the Hut branding minimal, other items, like this insanely ill-advised baseball cap, really splash it out there:

Ignoring the sexist implications of this slogan—and man, are they sexist—why would anyone want to take their toppings off? Wouldn’t that make your pizza all weird and just leave you with a handful of toppings? Just order cheese if that’s what you want, or eat the toppings on the pizza. Jesus.

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As Eater notes, there are also pizza socks:

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“Bae” friendly pizza hoodies:

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and even novelty pizza tank tops perfect for all your Coachella-loving bro cousins.

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There are even pizza-styled chalkboard sheets, perfect, as they say, for “pizza cuddles.” (If you own a bed with “hilarious” pizza sheets, the only person or thing that should cuddle with you is a shitty delivery pizza. God help the human adult who would own these.)

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The rest of the grossly hip Hut material is pictured below, and everything is available for purchase on the Pizza Hut site—not that anyone should do that, or, for that matter, ever order Pizza Hut pizza.

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Gross.
Amen.
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Note: This shirt *should* read “My pizza, my choice.” Then maybe we’d buy it.
(Note: This is more pepperoni than has ever appeared on an actual Pizza Hut product.)
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Yep, that’s a skateboard.
“You guys like Mac DeMarco?”
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Death by pizza.
Working off all that pizza.
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The future’s so greasy I gotta wear shades.

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