Ending years in which the only voices of the Angry Birds were those supplied by your own anxieties—the chirruping of all your failed relationships and professional disappointments as they slingshot repeatedly into the shoddy constructions of your plans, life laughing its greasy pig snorts at your utter fecklessness—the Angry Birds will now have actual, human voices. The long-in-the-making movie based on the popular mobile distraction has cast Jason Sudeikis, Bill Hader, Maya Rudolph, and Kate McKinnon, as well as some people who are not Saturday Night Live players, including Peter Dinklage, Danny McBride, Josh Gad, Tony Hale, Hannibal Buress, Ike Barinholtz, and Keegan Michael-Key. Together, they’ll bring to life the story behind who these birds are and why they’re angry—besides their being consigned to flinging themselves futilely against the walls of existential despair, that is, as well as the walls of shitty pigs. Angry Birds isn’t due until July 1, 2016, so in the meantime, they will still sound like your bitter ex-girlfriends and disappointed parents.
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