We all know Mario, right? The fictional plumber who inhabits a whimsical dream world full of sentient mushrooms and spiky monster turtles? Yeah, it's not real. But no one told the members of PETA, who have begun protesting Mario for his use of the Tanooki suit in various games. Because the racoon-like animal is rare, and how dare Mario condone the senseless skinning of these beautiful creatures? And to further drive their point home, they've written a video game you can play in which you control a bloody Tanooki corpse coming to destroy the flying Mario who stole his skin. If PETA actually played the game, they'd know that the suit comes out of a giant box with a question mark on it, and magically attaches itself to Mario in a burst of white cloud. Also, they'd know that games are not real. What's next, fighting for the neglected rights of Hyrule's rupee miners?

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