Pictured: A bumper crop of grade-A Love Nuggets and lime pillows.
Photo: Ethan Miller (Getty Images)

The language of drug use is a constantly evolving Cold War, as drug enforcement officials struggle to decipher arcane phrases like “weed” or “jazz cigarettes” for illicit meanings, and the actual users compete to see what the dumbest thing they can get said narcs to take seriously might be. It’s a pretty competitive field, too, as revealed in a recent DEA report on drug slang, released ostensibly as a law enforcement tool, but mostly serving, at the moment, as a way for us all to bask in the beauties and strangeness of the English language.

Although the listing—brought to our attention by Rolling Stone—covers any number of illicit substances, its biggest section is dedicated to that devil drug, marijuana, and the many ways those damn teenagers will try to reference it without us olds all knowing. For instance, parents: Have your children been making lots of unnecessary references to “good giggles” or “lime pillows”? We regret to inform you that they aren’t starting an improv troupe or an interior design firm; rather, they’re drug addicts, of the worst and most deranged order. Ditto those indulging in mentions of Love Nuggets, Lucas, or popcorn, a combination that refers not to affectionate chicken or the best way to appreciate the works of Star Wars creator George Lucas, but to pot, which is, itself, a slang term for THC, which is marijuana, and you know what, maybe just take the link to the list.

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But be vigilant out there, folks; you never know when Hairy Ones, Big Pillows, or the Nugs of My Brother might be waiting to strike.