America’s divorced pizza dad who’s really trying, Papa John, has introduced his latest in a long series of dinners that we all just have to get through: the Fritos Chili Pizza. Created in collaboration with PepsiCo, Papa John’s “beverage partner” who’s definitely not trying to replace your beverage mom, the Fritos Chili Pizza combines the delicious taste of corporate synergy with the dutiful contractual fulfillment of corn chips atop a pizza.
It also combines that pizza with chili—which technically counts as two meals—in something you can eat in front of the TV without even dirtying a bowl. Your Mama John would probably insist that you eat them separately, with silverware and folded napkin, seated at the table. Well, she’s not here. This is fun, isn’t it?
According to Papa John’s friend and chief marketing officer, Bob Kraut, the Fritos Chili Pie is more than just the taste of bonding. By combining “these traditional tailgating fall favorites,” it’s also the crisp, meaty taste of autumn. Every crunch of Fritos evokes a Proustian flood of memories of frolicking through fallen leaves. Every tang of savory chili reminds you of the primal thrill of football victory, the pound of flesh torn savagely from your opponents, then stewed in a pot with tomatoes. And also, there are some onions. Hey, onions and tomatoes count as vegetables, right? (That’ll be yours and Papa John’s little secret.)
The Fritos Chili Pizza is only available until Nov. 23, after which Papa John has hinted maybe we can pick up some videos, then put those on a pizza.