There was a time, long in the past, when people thought Ozzy Osbourne was scary. He made freaky-ass music, dressed up like a (seriously non-threatening) werewolf, and was at center of the ‘80s Satanic panic.
Now, in a push to further soften a public image already dulled by years of reality TV, bubbles, and puppy playdates, Ozzy is celebrating the anniversary of one of his most notorious moments—biting the head off a bat on stage—by turning it into an adorable plushy.
Presumably aimed at parents who buy their babies Sex Pistols onesies, the “commemorative plush” was designed to mark 37 years since that infamous night Ozzy chomped down some delicious bat noggin that he thought was a rubber doll thrown onstage.
As one would expect, the stuffed animal comes with a detachable head that can be chewed on without, we assume, requiring a painful course of rabies vaccines immediately afterward. Per Ozzy’s website, the head sticks back on with velcro, thus disputing the ad copy’s claim that the toy “[brings] the legendary moment in rock history to life.” It also has an Ozzy Osbourne logo emblazoned across its chest fur, which is also not quite historically accurate.
While a plush bat may not be out of character for current-era Ozzy Osbourne, the merchandising decision does set the mind reeling with cutesy takes on once-frightening musicians. It can’t be long now until Cannibal Corpse approves a Lego tie-in for the Vile cover’s maggot-infested barber-wire freak. And maybe Marilyn Manson will work out a Beanie Boos crossover with collectable, glitter-eyed versions of the Portrait Of An American Family line-up.
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