Photo: Mark Ralston (Getty Images)

The only certainties in this life are death, taxes, and your old, shitty tweets surfacing at the worst possible time. Comedian Kevin Hart learned that last week when old, homophobic tweets cost him a job hosting the 91st annual Academy Awards. The Academy, too, seems to have absorbed this essential American truth, as it’s reportedly thinking of forgoing a host altogether.

This comes from Variety, who quote a number of sources saying that the Academy was “blindsided” by Hart’s decision to step down and are now “freaking out” due to there being no contingency plan. Understandably, they’re worried about anyone who “might be too edgy,” but before you start screaming Jimmy Fallon’s name, know that they’re also nervous that “going too safe could be fatal for the show’s record-low ratings.” Uh, are the Stranger Things kids available?

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The Board of Governors will meet tonight to make a decision, which may end up being a group effort. Sources said that one consideration is to gather “a bunch of huge celebs, something SNL style, and buzzy people” and do a “group monologue” of some sort. That’s not the worst idea, as we can’t imagine anyone with the clout to host the Oscars actually wanting to at this point.

Just promise us that Alec Baldwin’s Donald Trump won’t be let anywhere near the set and we’ll be fine with it. 

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