Time reports that Orange Is The New Black will debut a character based on Martha Stewart in its third season, which premieres June 12 on Netflix. Stewart was convicted in 2004 of conspiracy and obstruction charges stemming from an insider trading scandal, and the lifestyle maven served a five-month sentence in a prison not unlike Orange’s. Indeed, in the book that inspired the show, author Piper Kerman mentions that her prison in Danbury, Connecticut was nearly Stewart’s landing spot as well. But the feds ultimately sent Stewart to West Virginia, claiming that the Connecticut facility would be too accessible to news media.
Orange showrunner Jenji Kohan said that the character won’t be a complete Martha lookalike: She’ll be Southern, for instance, perhaps giving her a dash of Paula Deen. (All it takes is a dash, really.) When Time shared the news with Stewart herself at Tuesday night’s “Time 100” gala for fancy people, Stewart said, “I’ll look at it,” a terse statement of interest that would not likely hold up in court.
Although the addition of a quasi-Stewart celebrity into Orange’s Litchfield Penitentiary promises to upset the balance of power at the prison, Kohan will have to work hard if she hopes to match the glory of pop culture’s greatest Martha Stewart myth-making, Martha, Inc.: The Story Of Martha Stewart. The 2003 NBC TV movie starred Cybill Shepherd in the title role of a home-living entrepreneur who is angry at everyone, all the time. You can watch the entire film above, courtesy of some YouTube guy. Or you can fast-forward to 41:40 for the scene where Martha throws a copper pot at a lady. Or go to the 1:06:00 mark for the scene where Martha pulls over to call a different woman a “slut” and a “whore” before rolling up her car window and driving away. Hell, just watch the whole thing.