Do you have a knack for making narcissism loveable? Do you have half-formed opinions on things that you’d like to see disseminated among and adopted by a loyal and impressionable audience? Are you able to create a soothing presence that lulls people into a false sense of security, so they’ll confess their shameful childhood tragedies or confront their physical deformities without realizing that they’re being exploited for entertainment purposes?

Unless you’re Wendy Williams, you may be the next Oprah Winfrey, and the great and powerful O is offering you the chance to prove it: Winfrey and Survivor producer Mark Burnett have teamed up to find the next unreasonably powerful TV host for her new OWN (The Oprah Winfrey Network), encouraging hopefuls to submit videos of themselves in categories ranging from cooking to interior design to “wildcard” at her website, or attend one of several open casting calls being held this month at various Kohl’s stores in New York, Dallas, Orange County, and Atlanta. A handful of contestants will then graduate to the reality competition, Your Own Show: Oprah’s Search For The Next TV Star, which launches along with the fledgling network in January.

Those hoping to submit an audition tape would do well to heed the video “Advice From The Experts”—like Will.I.am, who took time out of transposing English As A Second Language workbooks into Black Eyed Peas lyrics to offer sage hints like, “You don’t have to do it alone. You can bring your crew” and “You need a camera.”

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