Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Illustration for article titled Only the absolute coolest will be able to pull off the COVID-19 party suit
Screenshot: Production Club (YouTube)

It’s still too early to tell exactly how the coronavirus pandemic will impact fashion, but we’ve been given little hints over the last few weeks. First, there was the Maryland bar that introduced wearable inner tubes to promote social distancing; then there was the German concert where people came to dance around at a respectful distance from one another while wearing surgical masks.

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Now, having identified a market for sexless, movement-prohibiting club wear, a company called Production Club has introduced a neon-colored hazmat party suit called the Micrashell.

As you can see in a video showing the thing off, the Micrashell is a must-have item for those who have spent too long yearning to combine their loves of scuba-diving, virology lab research, and dancing till dawn in an warehouse just a few months out from being turned into luxury condos. On a site filled with dystopian images of CGI partygoers hanging out while wearing the suit, we learn that the Micrashell was created in recognition of the fact that people are going to head to social gatherings regardless of the risks, and that opportunities to provide something that will help them do so safely might be a good idea.

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Unlike boring protective suits for nerds, this one comes not just with air filtration and face shielding, but also stuff like customizable exterior lights, speakers, a camera, and nozzles that connect to holsters for drinks and vape pods. It also cuts off around the waist, allowing dance floors full of people dressed like cyberpunk astronauts to bump and grind to their hearts’ content.

It is, in short, one possible vision of what we’re all going to be wearing over the next few years. As everyone adjusts to this strange new world, traditional ideas of sex appeal will have to be rewritten to include stuff like this—a light-emitting, face-shielding hazmat device you wear when going out for a night of nozzle-hosed canister cocktails and chest-mounted vaping with your friends. Still, whatever you think of how dorky these party suits look, they sure beat the alternative.

[via Consequence Of Sound]

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Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.

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