Photo: Zhang Peng / Getty

Fast food is a deeply personal experience, based less on objective fact than on which hunks of grease and meat carry your perfect combination of seasoning and nostalgia. But that hasn’t stopped a wave of food writers from trying to definitively rank various fast food menu items. Earlier this week, Eater put together a ranking of every fast-food chicken nugget (stay away from Burger King but do head toward Wendy’s). And now First We Feast has done the same thing for fast-food fries.

French-fry ranker Josh Scherer does a fine job laying out a case for each of his choices. He rates a total of 14 establishments, including staples like Burger King, McDonald’s, Arby’s, and Wendy’s, as well as more specific venues like In-And-Out, Steak N’ Shake, and Five Guys, which comes in dead last on the list. And while the winner here may be obvious (never bet against the curly fry), the list is well-worth a read for both Scherer’s well-argued rationale and for his tidbits of French-fry wisdom. For instance: “Never pay an upcharge for fries unless it involves chili and/or liquid cheese.”

[via First We Feast]