What with Jason Momoa’s Aquaman battling both a long line of “Aquaman is lame” jokes (with some success), and the critics (um, sort of), the concept of another big-budget, big screen underwater superhero franchise seems a no-brainer. At least that’s what Marvel’s Namor (a.k.a. The Sub-Mariner) thinks, as the king of non-DC Atlantis stopped by Thursday’s Jimmy Kimmel Live! to voice his displeasure once more. Namor (who looked and sounded suspiciously similar to Billy Eichner in a molded nude bodysuit and spangly briefs), has previously interrupted Kimmel’s monologue to rant about being left out of The Avengers movies, and here resurfaced to talk some Atlantean smack about his DC Comics rip-off version (because Namor was here first, dammit). It did not go well.
For one thing, Kimmel dared call the mighty Sub-Mariner a “somewhat obscure Marvel character,” which enraged the king to no end. Kimmel compounded his insult by mistakenly calling his royal guest “Prince Nemo,” noting that he doesn’t have a cool Aquaman trident, has to talk to animals using the fabled Horn of Proteus, and has adorable little wings on his ankles. Okay, couple things: Namor uses a trident when he wants to; the Horn of Proteus was only used to summon legendary Atlantean scourge Giganto, as Namor can talk to regular undersea life (like his dolphin pal Gavin) just fine; and, okay, those little wings never quite worked with the whole “regal undersea monarch” vibe. (Plus, they didn’t get into it, but it’s sort of a problem, branding-wise, when no one can agree on how to pronounce “Sub-Mariner.”) Still, Eichner’s Namor wasn’t done with his late-night nemesis, as he stormed against Kimmel’s production values (“Hard to believe this show never won the Emmy”), Kimmel’s own pretensions to being king of late-night (“I think James Corden is cooler than you”), and even his time slot (“I love being the pre-show to Nightline”). Call this one a draw.