There are a few things that people know about Jay Leno. He has a large chin; he was the steward of The Tonight Show brand for 21 years, a job that he performed as boringly as possible on air and with venomous careerism behind the scenes; he loves old cars and has purchased many of them; he often wears all denim. The last of these two qualities—the denim and the cars—seem almost like an outgrowth of the second—the immense personal wealth he acquired by being boring on TV. A full denim jumpsuit is the proper attire for Leno’s brand of mediocrity; a garage full of a thousand old-ass cars is his just kingdom.
These qualities were on full display over the weekend, when a fully denimed Leno was riding around shining in some sort of pedal-operated old-time fire truck. Perhaps he thought people wouldn’t notice him, or perhaps he did this so people would notice him. Regardless, they did.
To the victor goes the spoils, assuming by “victor” we mean “guy who jealously grabbed and then held onto The Tonight Show as if it were a life-giving ankh” and by “spoils” we mean “old-ass fire truck and denim clothes.” If interested in seeing more of, well, exactly this, you’re in luck: Jay Leno’s Garage was renewed for its third season in January. At this point, though, he might also start going door to door telling people Judge Ito jokes.