As a professional basketball player, Shaquille O’Neal was known for his inability to make a free throw and inability to make a quality movie, video game, or hip-hop album (and probably some other basketball stuff that he was good at.) His post-basketball career, however, is a rich melange of inadequate basketball commentary, further terrible game development and now, as the new “liquidy meltoid vidboil” Gold Bond Liqui-Shaq demonstrates, transforming his face into amorphous shapes through the magic of skin care products.

The video, embedded below, chops and screws Shaq’s multiple Gold Bond commercials while simultaneously chopping and screwing Shaq’s face to hilarious results. It is also, at press time, the only song to ever successfully integrate the words “foot powder spray” in a meaningful way.

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