Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Now's the perfect time to sniff around this guy's catalog of dog-themed hip-hop

Illustration for article titled Nows the perfect time to sniff around this guys catalog of dog-themed hip-hop
Photo: Gandee Vasan (Getty Images)

For those of us who catch ourselves looking at our pets’ placid, unconcerned faces and longing to give up the gift of abstract thought to be more like them, music about human life isn’t what we want to hear right now. Fortunately, we’ve come upon the work of someone who goes by RxCK STxR—a musician seemingly devoted to answering the question “How many songs can one person write about dogs?” with a shitload of tracks that do just that.

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There is no better entry point to RxCK STxR’s oeuvre than the smash hit “Puppy Dog Bouncin (In The Box),” which, we should note, comes from an entire album of similarly themed tracks.

Watch and listen as the song details the simple joy of watching a puppy dog bouncing in a box. The video shows the animal sitting in some cardboard and, overcome by the power of the song’s beat, bobbing up and down (“like thiiiiis”). RxCK StxR raps verses about a “good puppy” who “ain’t sassy” and won’t “lick me in the face, that’s nasty.” He praises it for bouncing “all the time,” and tells listeners, “you might seen a lotta puppies, but they not like mine.” It is a pure and honest celebration of a dog with an incredible skill.

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It’s not RxCK STxR’s only dog-centric track, though. His Twitter account makes the heady claim that RxCK STxR’s “DOG Album is the first and only real Album ever made entirely dedicated to Dogs!” beneath some Silverchair-looking cover art, and goes on to include a few more examples of the material in question.

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Here is RxCK STxR warbling about wanting to pet a dog in the era of coronavirus...

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... and here he is belting an ode to his best friend, which is—wait for it—a dog that goes “roof roof roof.”

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The last of our selection is another track about loving your dog. The poetry goes so far as to say that not even Mark Cuban could offer enough money to buy the pet away from RxCK STxR.

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Each of these songs is a respite—a little bit of peace that distracts us and keeps our minds focused on what’s really important: Dogs, and how much we like to think about dogs doing dog things.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

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Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.

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