Bound in human flesh and inked in blood, the Necronomicon Ex Mortis is an ancient Sumerian text that contains bizarre burial rites, funerary incantations, and demon resurrection passages. It can also contain your bikini curves, provided it’s in the form of this new Necronomikini that may never have been meant for the world of the living, but is nevertheless intended for a day of surf, sun, and scarring people sexually.

Badass Digest brought our attention to the $100, Etsy-listed piece made from molded silicone and nightmares, which its seller has advertised as “lightning fast on water slides—thus saving you the embarrassment of overhearing, “Man, that girl with the demon coming out of her ass sure is a slowpoke on the ol’ water slide!” It's also very expedient at disarming boom sticks.