Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Now you can own your own John Wick murder pencil

John Wick

One of the best moments from the first John Wick is when Michael Nyqvist’s Russian mob boss lays out just how badly his idiot son has screwed up, describing the moment when his recent carjacking victim John Wick killed three men with nothing but a pencil. The film’s sequel doubles down on that moment in one of its most wonderfully shocking sequences, making it clear: Don’t give Keanu Reeves’ deadpan hitman a writing implement if you really want to live.

(Image: Forces Of Dorkness)

Now, a fan vendor has ensured that lovers of the films can fill out their own perfectly bubbled Scantron of death. Based out of Austin, Forces Of Dorkness is selling John Wick: Chapter Two branded pencils, lovingly painted with all the red blood action fans crave. We can’t speak to how useful they are as writing implements—and $17 seems a little steep, especially since these don’t appear to be officially licensed—but they do seem like they’d be a perfect prop for a JW2 costume (or a Dark Knight Joker, for that friend of yours who can’t let that particular Halloween touchstone go).


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